Thoughts About Moving
Many people have asked me how I feel about moving.
"Are you excited?"
Honest answer: Nope. I'm terrified.
I don't even know if I could fully explain my fears in this. There are quite a bunch floating around in my head.
So many things will change while I'm gone. I won't have my apartment. I won't have my home.
My friends will experience things that I won't get to be a part of first hand.
Dallas will look different when I come back.
People will come and go from the church I am at right now.
Hairs will be cut, buildings will be torn down, adventures will be had that don't involve Scout.
This all scares me.
I will have a lot of friendships change. Maybe you have heard (or lived out) that distance is hard on relationships. I'll get to find this out first hand and I'm already mourning the hurts that will inevitably come with this.
There is also the matter of a job and generating income after I move. This fear plagues me more than it should.
And goodness gracious; I'm moving into a house with 7 or 9 people I don't really know. A house full of people who have been living together in community for months - and I'll be the new person. This is so very scary to me.
Here's what I'm learning through all of this.
- God is still here. I mean, he arranged everything thus far, why would he stop now? I have to trust him. I'll admit that I am not doing this very well right now.... Like I said, I'm learning and praying that he will guide my heart in the right way and that I would lean on Him.
- I'm learning it's okay to mourn the things I am losing: deepness and closeness in friendships, my family being so physically close, and my city's veins being the patterns I know and breath daily, changing to something new and foreign by the time I come back.
- This life lesson: Love people, not things. There are so many "things" that I cannot take with me and I cannot leave behind due to circumstances out of my control. I'm learning by experience to live a minimalist lifestyle. It's easy to think that I won't have much in life - just essentials, clothing and a few of my favorite photos framed - but there are many more important things in life like friendships, relationships, community - PEOPLE!
Someday soon, I know I will be excited about moving. It might be on the plane on the way over... it might be tomorrow. Who knows.
Hopefully, excitement trumps fears soon! You can join me in praying for this!