The Vacation Boyfriend
My dearly beloved car, Watson got hit. His hood was crushed in - as was my heart.
I seem to have the worst luck when it comes to this car. For almost two years, I had a defective window that would randomly fall down into the door frame, only to be retrieved by taking off the entire frame. My AC unit was on the complete fritz, finally uttering it’s last, cool breath on July 18th, 2014. In case you don’t know form experience, the Texas heat and humidity is not something that can be ignored even with the windows down in hope of a breeze. Texas heat and humidity DEMANDS to be felt, and the rest of that summer in sweet Watson was miserable at best.
I’ve had my fair share of “suffering” in this car, but, My Dear Watson, true to his namesake, has always been a faithful friend.
After the wreck and the mess of working out the blessing that is insurance, I drove my sweet Watson up to the repair shop to get his kinks straightened out. The insurance company was nice enough to provide me with transportation whilst I eagerly awaited my Dear Watson’s return.
As the overworked, under paid employee read me my rights for the loaned car, I couldn’t really hear him as I gawked at the sheer niceness of the car that they so willing thrust into my arms.
This loaner was the nicest thing I will (probably) ever drive in my lifetime. I immediately titled this car “Vacation Boyfriend.”
You see, this was the sort of car that you dream about: the kind of car that you desire, the car that you can only have for a week before you realize that what you had was fast paced and beautiful and breathtaking, but really, really shallow and all based in looks and not actually something that you wanted to put time and effort into.
This car was sleek, dark and handsome.
The odometer told me this car had a mere 24 miles on it. Dear Lord, they gave me a baby!
Upon closer inspection, I realized the car was built in May 2015.
I’ve robbed the cradle with this one!
Vacation Boyfriend was keyless. All one needed to do was be within three feet of the car with the key fob. The car unlocked itself when you touched the door handle. You start the car with the push of the button.
Everything in Vacation Boyfriend lit up in some capacity. His speedometer glowed blue in the night, like a beacon to cops saying “Pull me over! You can see how fast I am going from two lanes away!” He had a touch screen where you could seamlessly switch from SXM to FM/AM and AUX, heck, there was even a way to connect your phone via Bluetooth.
Forget pulls, levers and clunky gear shifters. Vacay BF switched gears with the slight twist of a knob. Want to put the parking break on? There is a button for that!
Oh, and bad drivers rejoice! This car practically does all the work for you! You never have to look right and left again: simply place the car in reverse and a screen comes on with a backup camera.
The best part about this car? Air Conditioning. Perhaps the most beautiful thing about this car was it’s ability to chill the air with the icy blessing that is AC.
How could Watson ever compare to this stud of a car? This loaner car was clearly cooler than I was.
As my fast and furious week with Vacation Boyfriend came to a close, I realized something; I missed my tried and true, old faithful friend and loyal companion Watson.
Vacation Boyfriend and I could never last. We ran in two different circles. He was cooler than I was, and was literally cooler than Watson has been in the last year.
In truth, I was almost uncomfortable driving this stranger around town for a week. Sure, he was strange, new and exciting, but I found myself longing for my loyal Watson and his unusable, back right window. I missed having only half my speakers work. I longed for the uncomfortable shuttering of the breaks that are probably announcing that they need attention.
My whim with the Vacation Boyfriend was fun and games, but the loyalty of My Dear Watson was all I dreamed about.
Watson is a joy. He is MY joy. Everyone needs a vacation sometimes, but it’s fantastic to have something or someone you love to return to.
I think of my car as a person. I may need therapy.